Ego integration > Ego death

Reality is love because it's room for everything. - Byron Katie

Hello my friends,

If you are here, it's because you are an awakened heart on the path to more self-realization and clear seeing. Perhaps you too have been intrigued by the idea of ego death, a state in which there is no separation between the I and all. I believe this is the place we come home to once all the veils are lifted, when the weight of falsehood is shed and we truly SEE clearly, either in this lifetime, or lifetimes to come. I have had such experiences in the past that have shown me that this is the truth of our reality. And I want to make clear that this is not some exalted state. It's a place in which we see that everything is actually simple.

But in order to be one with all, we must first be one with I. We must learn to love and honor all aspects of the Self, especially the parts we reject most. Because what we reject in ourselves ends up controlling us (sometimes in very sneaky and unsuspecting ways). And, the paradox is, once we accept what we resist, we experience the alchemical moment where we begin to evolve, transmute and transcend.

I probably sound like a broken record by now, as this is the lesson I've been teaching for years. But this is an absolute truth in a world with few absolute truths. We will always come back to this. Enlightenment is what we experience when we learn to love what Is.

This is the ultimate form of unconditional love.
And the only thing that can dissolve ego is love.

For me, this includes the ego. It especially includes the ego.

As a student and teacher of meditation, I have always felt that my ego was something I needed to eradicate. In a common but naive and misguided way, I was trying to effort myself into ego death by denying it completely. I took some of the most beautiful spiritual tenets from my practice and unconsciously, my mind categorized these lessons into binaries. Body/heart good, ego bad. I believed that ego/fear was the cause of all suffering.

What I now know is that reacting unconsciously from an un-integrated, unacknowledged ego is what causes suffering, not ego itself. Self-rejection and self-denial are the other culprits.

And by ego I mean the part of me that attaches. The part of me that puffs up/inflates. The part of me that compares and/or judges. The part of me that tries to manipulate and control external circumstances to get just the right result. And even as I type this, I can feel in my body that it's true, these parts of mySelf can be exhausting.

And.

When I integrate this part of me, bring it in close and snuggle up next to it, sit with it, honor it, and listen to it, something shifts, in a subtle but profound way. I soften and open. I ask it questions- why are you here, what do you need, what are you afraid of, how can I love you more deeply?

Wisdom arises, and truth open itself up to me, like ferns unfurling their coils in the sunlight after a long rain.

This is where the magic happens. When I actually listened to my ego, instead of constantly shutting it down, I realized it had a lot of beautiful things to say. Things that have helped me own who I am and live as a completely free, satisfied being who got her needs met because I wasn't denying myself anything. By welcoming in my ego, I got to live in full integration of the Self, which is when I am the most authentic, the most effective, the most free. And to be free is the highest form of living.

And so, this brings us back to the beginning. The paradox is, when we unconditionally love all parts of ourselves, especially the ego, that's when we experience ego death. What we can hold in ourselves, we can hold for others, and close the gap of separation.

As Rumi says, "become nothing, and he'll turn you into everything." Conversely, what I find to be equally as true is that if we honor everything, we are controlled by nothing.

For many of you, this is your "work." This is what it means to be on the spiritual path.

Are you open and ready?

Openings to work with me 1:1 are available. This journey is for those of you who are ready to come home to yourself, so you can walk this earth as the divine, sovereign being of love that you are.

Apply here to start the journey.

I look forward to connecting with you.

In gratitude,

Eva